After seeing many posts on this type of thing lately I decided to join in.
OK let me start off by saying yes I am crazy, busy, out of my mind, etc (most other things that people have said I will keep to my self) But how do you mothers do it. How do you make sure that you give each kid enough attention. In our house it seems that if you give one attention the other 1 goes crazy (give Annmarie crayons and something to color and she is in Heaven). and vice versa. I think the biggest issue is that Jeffrey is not a child that plays well alone so he demands so much time if I even want to not see dishwasher tabs in his mouth or trash bags over his head. How have you guys found time to work with each kid giving them the individual time that they need. I know this is probably not the best time to be trying to fix this but hey its only gonna get worse right. Not that I regret any of our choices on when we had kids. I love them all so much and would never be happy with out each one.
One of our favorite things to do at night, Chocolate shakes.
Yeah this is a frustration post and any kind hearted suggestions will be taken. Mean spirited ones will only make me cry in my delicate state. hahaha yeah right.
8 comments:
Okay, my thought on that is that each child at different times need to have more attention than others. When they are Jeffrey's age they just require more attention. It's there time to get into things they shouldn't, be demanding, etc. I think your children know how much you love them and most kids adjust well to sharing with other siblings. Taking different children alone to the grocery is even a small thing but can help in that problem. Another thought is that when the younger two nap, spend that one on one time with Will. Talk with him color with him, do anything with him. I know it can be difficult but you have a "mother's heart" (RS visiting teaching lesson) and do the best you can.
Finding time to give each child individual attention is so tough. I try to have scheduled time for each child and I try to keep it roughly the same time each day so they can expect it. At first it's difficult but overtime they've learned to enjoy when it's their time and to back off when it's not. I also try to give the older ones time when the younger ones are napping to avoid the fight and I'll set the older ones up with coloring or something so I can spend some time with the younger ones. there's no easy answer and every kids different so you have to just play around with it until you find something that works with your schedule and your kids. Good Luck!
It is very hard when they are younger. But there are certain things that each like to do. I know it drove me crazy but Madison and Maya both like to wash dishes. I would let Madison and Maya help me at different times.
Max mostly wanted to cuddle with me when we watched a movie or something. Even now, with Madi and Max in school, those 2 want to share my time at the same time. I found that Madison likes to help me cook dinner, so now she helps me and I can talk to her. Max on the other hand doesn't care too much about that but at night when we go to bed, he really likes me to talk to him in bed.
I know that you hear this a lot - but it does get easier once they get alittle older. You will be amazed how much jeff will grow up when the 4th one comes. If he is like my kids, they turn to their dad more and more - which I am totally okay with.
It is okay to be frustrated right now. Here is my mantra - "This too shall pass" It doesn't always work but the times it does it is very helpful!!
Afternoon naptime and Nate are the tools in my belt. Naptime is when I make snacks with the big kids and read with Ryan and help them with their homework. And whenever I want to spend quality time with Payton alone or Ryan alone, I leave the other two with Nate. And I do the same when he wants time with one.
For example, while Ryan is at soccer practice with dad, Payton and I have a little cooking lesson that we all get to eat for dinner that night. Alyssa just sits in her high chair and we throw Cheerios at her every once in a while. You'll find ways to make it work for your kids and their schedules. Just don't give in to feeling guilty. Jeffrey still gets most of the attention for a few weeks anyhow.
Each child needs his own kind of attention too, you can't just do the same thing for each of them. As they grow older, they will remember the time you spent with them, no matter what you are doing. I think you are doing great!!!!
When mine were younger I was always torn on what to do with which and how much. In tears at night wondering was I a good mom at all. See I have this little problem called yelling. I don't know if anyone else does. I would think how bad the day must have been for each of them but when it was bed time and prayers were said they only talked about the day with mommy as the best ever. Nikolas is a busy bee and takes a lot of time and yet so do the others in their own way. Hang tough you will be surprised at how well you are actually doing in the grand scheme of things.
I don't really have any ideas that haven't already been posted, or that you probably aren't trying. So, I'm just chiming in to tell you I think you are an awesome woman and a wonderful mom. Kids are especially hard at Jeffrey's age, because at that age they like to put bags on their heads, explore the garbage can, pull all the books from the shelves, etc., even when you do spend a lot of one on one time with them. Your kids know you love them. My mom always says the days may drag, but just wait, because the years will fly. And if all else fails, bring your kids over to my house for an hour and go get yourself a pedicure.
Like I told you tonight, I don't know how you do all that you do! Most importantly, I suggest that you don't get discouraged with not being able to "do it all" Apparently my mom was very sick several times when I was young. I BARELY remember it. Your kids know you love them and do all that you can to spend time with them, I am certain their memories will reflect that.
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